Forgot your password? No problem, you might soon be able to use your penis?

13th March 2018

THERE are some inventions you know will change the world and I wholeheartedly believe this company’s “proprietary penis recognition tech” is one such example.

Operating with the belief fingerprint scanners and facial recognition technology is passé, webcam platform CamSoda has made it possible to use your penis as your password — about time!

As of today, the dick-ometrtics platform will give men the chance to use their penis for something more practical while positioned in front of the computer.

To use the service, users will need to supply the website with a picture of their old fella, which will be stored in the system to assist the proprietary penis recognition tech.

While the concept is probably not the best to use while commuting on a train during peak hour, CamSoda’s vice president Darren Press said it has its advantages.

“In order to ensure personal data is safeguarded against unwarranted individuals, biometrics have become progressively popular for its ability to provide a layer of security that is impenetrable,” he said, making me laugh at his choice of the word impenetrable.

Mr Press added that dick-ometrics takes biosecurity to the next level.

“Like a fingerprint and an eyeball, which are two of most commonly used body parts in biometric technologies, the penis has many, many differentiating factors like size, colour and vein protrusion,” he said.



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